Recently I asked on LinkedIn what people consider the first step to a healthier conflict culture. Interestingly all of the comments went straight to the actual team relationships, which I see as steps further down the line. But it is common that we try to change the apparent problem without revealing and addressing the root.
Before we try to change the external conflict, we need to start tackling the rumbling inside our hearts. Creating a healthy conflict culture in a team begins with creating a positive culture inside ourselves. This is especially important for team leaders. You can’t develop someone in an area you’re not developed in.
On my journey, I took the following critical stepping stones to a more peaceful internal conflict culture:
- Learn to set boundaries and say ‘NO’ confidently
- Learn NOT to feel responsible for the feelings of others
- Learn to handle my anger and feelings
- Learn to remove the global mistrust from my heart
Helping resources were mentors, the book “Boundaries”, and later “Emotional Logic“.
