Conflicts can be quite emotional. Misunderstanding emotions can lead to wrong decisions and undesired behaviour. Consequently, the argument becomes unnecessarily stressful, unhealthy and potentially disruptive.
Think of your emotions as lights and gauges on a car’s dashboard. The unpleasant ones are like the yellow and red lights. They tell you that something is not entirely in line with some of your values. Action is required. If you don’t take action, or you do the wrong thing, it could cause a severe breakdown.
Before you can take appropriate action, you need to understand what the gauges and lights tell you. Equally, you need to understand your values. When you know which values trigger your emotions in a conflict, it is much easier for you to make appropriate adjustments.
In a car many dashboard lights, even though their red and amber colour indicate severity, require only little action, such as filling the tank, checking the oil or fasten the seatbelt. Equally, most of our values require only small adjustments for our emotions to return to pleasant.
Live into your values!
