I really believe that in a diverse environment, where different world views clash, it’s crucial for leaders to develop emotional intelligence skills that enable peaceful and meaningful dialogue, which supports genuine relationship building. Healthy relationships and dialogue that celebrate differences are crucial for creating an inclusive organisational culture.
We can’t just rely on DEI or HR policies and awareness training to achieve this, as these policies typically come into force only when things have gone wrong. Awareness training often focuses on behavioural change without addressing the personal experiences and stories that led to that behaviour. Neither policies nor awareness training provide guidance for genuine team building or the necessary personal development.
Currently, I am exploring and testing new ways. Recently, I had the opportunity to host a Trust Group on behalf of Trevor Griffiths, author of “Clearing a Way: Unveiling the Mental Tricks That Hide Reality” and inventor of the Emotional Logic method. The group of six people represented four nations (USA, Canada, UK, Germany) and included a mix of males and females ranging from their 30s to their 80s. My aim was to use my emotional intelligence skills to facilitate a dialogue about the idea of freedom and how our individual definitions of freedom impact our relationship with the world around us. We explored two questions:
- What is freedom to you?
- What are you losing or fear losing if someone or something restricts your sense of freedom?
The 90 minutes we spent together were remarkable, deep, and full of wonder. The answers to the first question showed that we all have very different views on what we perceive to be freedom. These included expressing oneself freely, the space of a safe relationship, freedom to think, and freedom in the spiritual realm. The stories people told as part of their answers clearly showed how different each of our worlds are.
The real magic happened when we explored the second question. After the first two participants had answered, I noticed a pattern that crystallised as we made our contributions. All the stories contained one loss – the loss of relationships. We all perceived the loss of valued relationships as one of the most painful experiences in our quest to live our freedom. Many shared how they struggle to build relationships with others with different views without sacrificing or hiding their views. Most remarkably, though, the story did not end there.
All of us noticed the pattern of the importance of relationships. The whole atmosphere changed as we kept talking about it. I felt a profound warmth in my heart, seeing that we all desire to connect with others. A hunger grew within the group to carry on the conversation and explore how we could build relationships without losing our authenticity. How can we develop skills that enable us to hold the tension between our view of the world and the view of others? How can we feel less attacked or act less defensive and instead embrace and value our differences?
It all starts with seeing each other as humans who value connection and relationships. That desire to feel connected can be the true north of our inner compass, or the north star (Is there an equivalent on the sky of the southern hemisphere?) in the night sky of our darkest moments. As leaders, we must also realise that just telling everyone that all humans value relationships won’t open people’s eyes to that truth. Leaders must learn to facilitate conversations and dialogues that provide the space in which everyone can discover this common true north that is written on our hearts themselves. Once our teams see that, our natural hunger for connection can guide us on our quest to be authentically free. Our world can change.
If you’re looking to enhance workplace dynamics with emotional intelligence training that champions genuine dialogue and authentic freedom, explore our services page or book a discovery call for a personalised demo of our proven approach.
