Generations of people are taught that anger is the dark side of the Force, and are suffering emotionally as a result. Classifying our emotions into good and evil, light and dark, positive and negative contributes to a lack of self-respect, and to self-denial and self-rejection.
I used to avoid anger at all cost which led to self-harm by feeling guilty for being angry. Instead of assessing a situation properly, I turned my anger against myself. I often swallowed the perceived injustice happening to me in my quest to become a better person, not realising that my anger is part of that journey. The more anger I built up, the more fearful I became of myself and the aggression that might burst out.
The value of anger
Anger is not negative. It feels unpleasant, though, not just for you but also for a potential other who is confronted with your willingness to fight for and unwillingness to let go of something. Anger gives you the energy to change the world around you. Its purpose is to take action and prevent a loss.
Now, when I feel angry, I know something I value is at stake. I take time to identify and name my losses and values that are being threatened. Once I know them, I take action to either prevent, recover or minimise the losses one at a time. Sometimes I let go to make space for something more valuable.
Often I use my anger to get myself off the guilt trip and depression trap. I apply it to commit myself to learning and re-evaluating. Then I am better prepared to prevent, recover or minimise my losses.
How do you deal with your anger?
